I will use a quote from a book by Vladimir Benes, a top neurosurgeon, called My Journeys into the Depths of the Brain. Right at the beginning, the professor mentions that the brain controls everything, and in an exaggerated way it can be said that the rest of the body is just a support apparatus…..
Another professor, David Netuka, also a neurosurgeon, mentioned in one of his interviews the claim that once a beam of light hits the brain, nothing will ever be the same again.
People are scared of any surgery. Of possible complications, of unexpected reactions of the operated body, of anaesthesia, of mistakes of the surgeons. It’s human and logical. But there are differences. People are terrified of neurosurgery. Spinal surgery near the spinal cord carries the risk of paralysis. Neurosurgical operations that involve opening up the skull and interfering, in whatever form and to whatever extent, with the brain, make people panic-stricken. It can be fatal to screw up everything.
I had enough time to study hundreds of articles, listen to hundreds of interviews and read the information commonly available on the Internet regarding this matter. I dare say that my knowledge in this respect is very extensive. This has made the whole waiting period all the more stressful for me. Fear of paralysis. Fear of mental damage. Ironically, fear of death was only third on the list of perceptions. Anyone who has undergone such an operation realizes that the intervention takes place in the very center of everything. That any mistake on the part of the operator, unintentional of course, will have fatal consequences. Any medical contraindication on the part of the operated will have fatal consequences. Inflammation, swelling, unplanned bleeding – everything will have an impact and it will not be about pain or scarring. It will damage the control station, the brain. Because as another top neurosurgeon, Jan Klener, says, the brain is the only organ in the body whose damage is irreversible.
When you go for such an operation, your perception of life changes. And it’s not just talk. You’re very close to death. And that affects everyone, even the most patient. Even the most optimistic. Even those who think they’re made of iron. Suddenly, they resort to prayers, pleas, vows, anything to help them believe that they’re the ones who’ll be lucky.
I have taken a few steps in this direction both willingly and unwillingly. My boyfriend and I were cleaning up old wrongs. It was unintentional, but obviously necessary. My mother went with me to the cemetery to the graves of our ancestors to pray that all would turn out well. This was also unplanned, but actually very symbolic. I went to the cemetery to see my father voluntarily. I go to see him when I’m in trouble, and now I was running out of energy…. I wrote down on paper everything I consider lucky…. top surgeon….aneurysm didn’t burst….the warning came in the form of an attack and I’m of an age and health such that surgery is possible….atd…. I posted the paper on my bedroom closet. To keep my motivation in sight. I drew a picture of a healing symbol and hung it above my bed. Surrounded myself with talismans and letters from my friends. The psyche is absolutely integral to recovery. It can be helpful or just the opposite.
So, when such an operation takes place and a person wakes up with the fact that he is not paralysed, speaks, hears, perceives and remembers, it is a real life restart. The problems associated with the aftermath of the operation are seen as secondary.
I’ve got a titanium clamp in my head holding the cerebral artery aneurysm inactive. Instead of a piece of my skull, I have a titanium implant attached with tapes and screws to the rest of my skull. I have a large scar on my right side near my temple extending into my hairline and face. My head hurts, sometimes more, sometimes less, but I am still aware of it. I can’t open my mouth, my right hinge is blocked. Biting into an apple, for example, is impossible. I suffer from lack of appetite, I force myself to eat. At night I wake up 3-4 times regularly. On the contrary, I fall asleep uncontrollably throughout the day. Concentrating longer on anything is a big problem for me. My body is generally very tired and weak. My first follow-up is scheduled in 2.5 months, including a follow-up CT scan, and only then will it be confirmed that the surgery was successful. After that, there will be regular checks to see if the bulge reappears in a different place. I’m not out of the woods at all. But I’m on my way…..
If you think you don’t have the guts, it’s true. When you think you’re gonna lose, you lose. Life’s battles are not won by the strongest. It’s the one who believes they can do it that wins.
